HOW TO STAY SAFE IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS AND HOW TO CREATE A SAFETY PLAN

April 19, 2010 by John Nottingham, EPS

Source: OPRAH.com

    

My teacher Gavin de Becker appeared on OPRAH recently sharing life saving advice. I cannot offer a higher recommendation for this advice.

“Stay Alive” Expert and Best Selling Author of THE GIFT OF FEAR Gavin de Becker Unveils the New Tool to Keep You Safe


How do you stay safe if your abusive ex has partial custody of the kids? Gavin de Becker’s advice on how to create a safety plan


http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Gavin-de-Becker-on-Protecting-Your-Family-Video

Gavin de Becker has saved countless lives. Now, he reveals the cutting-edge test that might save you or someone you love.


Teri’s Story
Her ex-husband beat her, stuffed her in a garbage can and left her for dead. Why Gavin de Becker wants you to hear her story.


MOSAIC
It’s the online assessment that could save your life. Take Gavin de Becker’s free and anonymous test today.


Protect Your Family
How do you stay safe if your abusive ex has partial custody of the kids? Gavin de Becker on how to create a safety plan.


The Gift of Fear
Gavin’s empowering book shows you how to spot subtle signs of danger before it’s too late

Relationship Red Flags
Bruises aren’t the only sign of a violent relationship. The four red flags Gavin says too many women overlook.


Source: http://www.oprah.com/showinfo/Stay-Alive-Expert-Gavin-de-Becker-Unveils-New-Tool-to-Keep-You-Safe

http://www.TheHotline.org
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

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Nottingham Sword & Shield Security provides on or off site training. Unique Security Services and Self Defense Training nationwide including Scottsdale, Paradise Valley, Cave Creek, Phoenix Arizona areas. This information provided in cooperation with: John Nottingham’s USA Martial Arts Scottsdale PV Phoenix, Nottingham Sword&Shield; Security and Hit Like a Girl Self Defense Personal Security Training
http://ScottsdaleExecutiveSecurity.com
http://ScottsdaleBodyguard.com 
http://USA-MartialArts.com 
http://ScottsdaleKarate.com 
http://JohnNottingham.com 
JKD Concepts PFS Progressive Fighting Systems “Filthy MMA”http://fighting.net/johnn
http://swordandshieldsecurity.blogspot.com/


Author
John Nottingham, EPS is a graduate of Bodyguard Training International / USA Bodyguards. He was trained at Gavin De Becker Academy for Protectors and in Advanced Threat Assessment and Management. A Sixth Degree multiple Black Belt holder he served in a Special Forces Airborne reserve unit as a Military Intelligence Analyst. He is the founder of Nottingham Training Systems, Nottingham Security and the USA Martial Arts chain of schools.
The Firm
NTS Nottingham Training Systems is a public and private sector consulting and training firm specializing in developing mission specific solutions for first responders, law enforcement, military, security and civilians.
Nottingham Sword&Shield Security is the Protective Division of LCI Inc. which provides security strategies and solutions to public and private clientele. Nottingham Security serves and advises media figures, corporations, government agencies, police departments, universities, and at risk persons of situations that might escalate to violence. Nottingham Security’s capabilities include: individual, executive, family, children, event and mobile high and low profile protective services.

The Color Codes of Awareness for Developing a Combat Fighting Mindset

Security [Self Defense] Mindset part 4

One technique for a self-defense / security mindset used by soldiers, special agents, bodyguards, and law-enforcement personnel whom have to perform effectively under duress.  The "Combat" mindset technique heightens your awareness and allows you to see potential threats to your safety ahead of time.  Thus, it provides a window of opportunity to prepare for or prevent potential conflict.

John Dean “Jeff” Cooper, a Marine Lieutenant Colonel who served in both WWII, and the Korean War, is widely respected for his modernizing firearm for personal protection training.  He popularized a method of developing awareness called Color Codes of Awareness, or what we refer to as levels or states of alertness.

• White - unaware, not paying attention
• Yellow - attentive, but relaxed and not in denial
• Orange - focus is directed, there is an immediate specific potential threat
• Red - there is a definitive threat, fully engaged. Your mental trigger (established back in Condition Orange) has been initiated. If "X" happens I will act. 

Other variations exist including colors green, blue and black, but the concept is relatively the same.  They key to using them is integrating this into daily life and, for professionals, operational readiness.

Many are now familiar with the US Department of Homeland Security Advisory system.   According to the USDHS at http://www.dhs.gov, “Color-coded Threat Level System is used to communicate with public safety officials and the public at-large through a threat-based, color-coded system so that protective measures can be implemented to reduce the likelihood or impact of an attack.”  To clarify the difference, the government model responds to an estimated amount of danger to which Americans are exposed to at a specific time.  The Cooper model is designed to describe ones individual state of mind to take action on potential threats.

One of the exercises we have our training clients execute is to integrate a levels of awareness system with a flowchart for action, or what many from military and law enforcement backgrounds call rules of engagement.  This becomes part of a personal safety plan or professional SOP to increase effectiveness in the field, reduce response time and trigger action plans. 

Again, the key to efficacy, and where our firm stands out, is the implementation of these concepts under stress so that they can be efficient and effective when it most counts. 

In the next article I will discuss nature’s model for survival and how it relates to your personal security and self defense mindset.  
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Nottingham Sword & Shield Security provides on or off site training.  Unique Security Services and Self Defense Training nationwide including Scottsdale, Paradise Valley, Cave Creek, Phoenix Arizona areas.  This information provided in cooperation with: John Nottingham's USA Martial Arts Scottsdale PV Phoenix, Nottingham Sword&Shield; Security and Hit Like a Girl Self Defense Personal Security Training

http://ScottsdaleExecutiveSecuritycom http://ScottsdaleBodyguard.com http://USA-MartialArts.com http://ScottsdaleKarate.com http://JohnNottingham.com  

Author 

John Nottingham, EPS is a graduate of Bodyguard Training International / USA Bodyguards.  He was trained at Gavin De Becker Academy for Protectors and in Advanced Threat Assessment and Management.  A Sixth Degree multiple Black Belt holder he served in a Special Forces Airborne reserve unit as a Military Intelligence Analyst.  He is the founder of Nottingham Training Systems, Nottingham Security and the USA Martial Arts chain of schools. 

The Firm

NTS Nottingham Training Systems is a public and private sector consulting and training firm specializing in developing mission specific solutions for first responders, law enforcement, military, security and civilians.

Nottingham Sword&Shield Security is the Protective Division of LCI Inc. which provides security strategies and solutions to public and private clientele.   Nottingham Security serves and advises media figures, corporations, government agencies, police departments, universities, and at risk persons of situations that might escalate to violence.  Nottingham Security's capabilities include: individual, executive, family, children, event and mobile high and low profile protective services.

Oprah said, "Be Aware"... But That's a Dangerous Lie and We Proved it

The Security & Self Defense Mindset Part III

We’ve all heard it.  It’s on the news and on every caution givers lips from parents to partners and your local law enforcement officer, “Be Aware”.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen an industry with so many self proclaimed experts who were downright shoddy and incompetent than the self defense and security fields.  That’s just one reason my company set out to do something about it. 

Oprah said “Be aware”

“Be aware” is a self defense myth that has been around for years.  Propagated by often well-intentioned media sources, so-called self defense experts and ill informed do-gooders, our research revealed the lie in this self defense myth.  My team of Self Defense Mythbusters have dedicated years to challenging widely held beliefs, confirming all but a few, shattering the dangerous distortions of most.  This is one of the most fundamental.  Fortunately, thank God, Oprah eventually brought on my teacher Gavin de Becker, author of The Gift of Fear, to reveal the truth about intuition and self defense.  In doing so, she gave wide exposure to some of the best advice I have ever seen presented on the subject. 
http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/The-Gift-of-Fear-by-Gavin-de-Becker

The good news is that the truth will set you free.

Our documented footage reveals that ‘be aware’ is something all of our clients would tell you they were trying to do but, the fatal flaw is that they couldn't use this idea when the time came to use it.  They enter the scenario, their heart rate soars, they become hyper vigilant, eyes widen, body tenses, and they miss critical cues and basic solutions.  

This is the gap we see again and again in most training; 

the illusion that education is the same as knowledge 

and knowledge is the same as ability.  

The idea of “being aware” seems also irreconcilable with use on the street without training or knowledge of what specifically to identify. It just seems to ad stress from an omnipresent, “could come from anywhere, anytime” unnamed threat. Who could live with constant stress like that anyway? It’s not practical nor is it healthy to be paranoid and stressed out. In our view, “being aware” is merely a thing people tell themselves as an emotional pacifier, perhaps inadvertently distracting their God-given survival signals that actually could alert them to real danger.

  That is why my company mission emphasizes enhancing peace-of-mind to our clients so they can separate true fear from unwarranted fear and live life with joy and freedom from mental terror.

Even our clients know they are entering a scenario where they will have to be aware, it is nothing more than a word until they are conditioned to know and use several things:

1. What specifically to look for, how criminals or the other guy operates

2. How to manage the body’s natural response to potential threats, fear and stress and the ability to know the difference between warranted fear and unwarranted fear.

3. How to process and prioritize large amounts of information in a short period of time.

4. Knowing when and where to heighten alertness

5. Having accurate information and the awareness of assets and liabilities (one’s true capabilities) in a given situation

6. Understanding context

In essence, all of our clients were all intelligent enough to know they should be aware but this information is of little to no consequence in crunch time.  My company specializes in bridging that gap and assisting individuals in bringing to bear the skills they already possess or ad into their personal toolbox of options.

In the next article I will address a technique for a self defense / security mindset used by soldiers, special agents, bodyguards, and law-enforcement personnel whom have to perform effectively under duress.  The mindset technique heightens your awareness and allows you to see potential threats to your safety ahead of time.  Thus, providing a window of opportunity to prepare for or prevent potential conflict.


**********
Nottingham Sword & Shield Security provides on or off site training.  Unique Security Services and Self Defense Training nationwide including Scottsdale, Paradise Valley, Cave Creek, Phoenix Arizona areas.  This information provided in cooperation with: John Nottingham's USA Martial Arts Scottsdale PV Phoenix, Nottingham Sword&Shield; Security and Hit Like a Girl Self Defense Personal Security Training

http://ScottsdaleExecutiveSecuritycom http://ScottsdaleBodyguard.com http://USA-MartialArts.com http://ScottsdaleKarate.com http://JohnNottingham.com  

Author 

John Nottingham, EPS is a graduate of Bodyguard Training International / USA Bodyguards.  He was trained at Gavin De Becker Academy for Protectors and in Advanced Threat Assessment and Management.  A Sixth Degree multiple Black Belt holder he served in a Special Forces Airborne reserve unit as a Military Intelligence Analyst.  He is the founder of Nottingham Training Systems, Nottingham Security and the USA Martial Arts chain of schools. 

The Firm

NTS Nottingham Training Systems is a public and private sector consulting and training firm specializing in developing mission specific solutions for first responders, law enforcement, military, security and civilians.

Nottingham Sword&Shield Security is the Protective Division of LCI Inc. which provides security strategies and solutions to public and private clientele.   Nottingham Security serves and advises media figures, corporations, government agencies, police departments, universities, and at risk persons of situations that might escalate to violence.  Nottingham Security's capabilities include: individual, executive, family, children, event and mobile high and low profile protective services.